Thanks for stopping by. For those of you who don't understand Chinese, I'm sorry. It's not my intention to make life difficult for you nor try to be secretive. When I brooding over something, I prefer to write in Mandarin, which is my preferred spoken language, whereas, in fact, I have better command in English in written form than Mandarin.
今天收到了一個坏消息
同事剛出世沒多久的嬰孩過世了。。。
這消息對我來說簡直是晴天霹靂
一直相信這孩子會沒事的，可能剛開始時會一點麻煩
但最終會健康茁壯的成長，就像小軒一樣
哪知道。。。
回家的路上哭得好傷心
說真的我跟他的父母的交情其實並不怎麽樣
可能是當我得知他媽媽懷他的過程出狀況后，
有替他們母子禱告，所以感覺到特別親切吧。。。
本來買來要送給他的小衣服排不上用場了。。。
我不敢說我了解他們現在的心情
但至少我可以體會到失去孩子的滋味
主啊！求你安撫那悲傷的心！
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
What is Iggy Eating Lately?
Friends have being curious with what I feed Iggy with...
PASTA! Spirals vegeroni to be exact.
"Huh? Pasta?"
"Pasta? Why not rice porridge?"
"Should give him rice porridge lah"
etc..
That's the usual responses I get. Ok, ok pasta might not be a typical food for a Chinese baby, but why not?! Pasta is healthier compare to noodle in the market. Besides, I looove pasta and most of all Iggy seems to love it too, hahaha.
The recipe:
1 or 2 handful of spirals vegeroni (cooked until soft)
some cauliflower, potatoes, pumpkin (cooked until mushy)
1 teaspoon of olive oil
bits of kraft cheese
Mixed everything together and you are done! Super easy!
This is the latest!
PASTA! Spirals vegeroni to be exact.
"Huh? Pasta?"
"Pasta? Why not rice porridge?"
"Should give him rice porridge lah"
etc..
That's the usual responses I get. Ok, ok pasta might not be a typical food for a Chinese baby, but why not?! Pasta is healthier compare to noodle in the market. Besides, I looove pasta and most of all Iggy seems to love it too, hahaha.
The recipe:
1 or 2 handful of spirals vegeroni (cooked until soft)
some cauliflower, potatoes, pumpkin (cooked until mushy)
1 teaspoon of olive oil
bits of kraft cheese
Mixed everything together and you are done! Super easy!
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
The Day Iggy Was Born
Prologue
With previous case of ectopic pregnancy experience and with my petite build, I was always been told that I might not being able to deliver naturally. However, I kept praying and hoping that I would be able delivered naturally. And I also prayed that when the time comes, the doctors will know what is best for me and for my baby, be it naturally or Cesarean.
The Countdown
The Moment
They prepared to wheel me to the delivery room. The doctor in charged discussed my situation with her head through the phone. For some reason, she quite reluctant to perform Cesarean on me. Cesarean will be the last resort
She checked me. Then she exclaimed excitedly to the nurses. "She is 5 cm dilated! Yes! No need Cesarean!". Should I didn't have the intense lower back pain, I would have joked with her, "How come you are more excited than me??". By that time, I'm feverish and the back pain intensify. Then it just hits me, what I thought of as back pain from uncomfortable bed was actually sign of labor, back labor. The nurse confirmed my thought by telling me that I having contractions.
They wheeled me to the delivery room. It was 10:02 pm. On the way, I called my hubby. I hooked up on the IV and got a jab on the butt. I don't know what it is. Should be some kind of painkiller and also a gas mask should I need it. I asked hubby to rub my lower back and it really help to lessen the discomfort with each intensify contractions. To cut it short, Iggy entered the world at 1:58 am :). He was whisked to NICU before I even got a chance to take a look at him :(
I was discharged the following day, without Ig. He had to stay at NICU for about a week and 2 more weeks at GH Pediatric Institute. By the time he came home, he was 3 weeks old.
Looking at Iggy, looking back, I still got a lot of things to be thankful for. Those are the tiny little pieces of life that may looks like nothing at all but added those tiny pieces up, it's really mounted up. Most of all I am thankful that God sent us Ignatius as He promised!
With previous case of ectopic pregnancy experience and with my petite build, I was always been told that I might not being able to deliver naturally. However, I kept praying and hoping that I would be able delivered naturally. And I also prayed that when the time comes, the doctors will know what is best for me and for my baby, be it naturally or Cesarean.
The Countdown
| June 08, 2009 | Having on of my regular checkup at the clinic. Everything is good. (Baby: 33 weeks + 5 days) | |
| June 09, 2009 | Just finishing my lunch with my colleague when suddenly I felt water trickle down my legs. I'm thinking, "... I think my water broke ...". Returning to office, told HR I'm taking EL, packed, drove about 40 mins back to my home. While driving, made a few phone calls and informed hubby to get back immediately and drove me to hospital. Reached home, packed hospital bag. Hubby reached home while I'm packing. Drove to GH around 2 pm plus. After waiting and checkup, I finally get admitted at around 4 pm plus. Diagnosis was my water did not actually broke but it was leaking and continued to leak. After strapping me to a machine to monitor baby's heartbeat and found out that baby is ok. They decided to try to delay the delivery. In the mean time, I was given injections of corticosteroid, which accelerates the maturity of my baby's lungs. Thus, I stayed at the hospital until "further" notice. (Baby: 33 weeks + 6 days) | |
| June 10, 2009 | The day passed uneventfully. Check for baby's heart beat, my temperature and blood pressure, routinely 6 times a day, round the clock even in 4 am in the morning. Ultrasound in the morning. Looking good, amniotic level still ok, despite the leaking. By the way, I was still leaking on and off. Been warning to monitor carefully for my raise of temperature and the changes in the color and odor of amniotic fluid, which are indications for infection. (Baby: 34 weeks) | |
| June 11, 2009 | Another uneventfully day. More routine checkup. Still leaking on and off. My backbone started to complain for laying too long on the uncomfortable hospital bed. (Baby: 34 weeks + 1 day) | |
| June 14, 2009 | Routine checkup. Ultrasound. Amniotic fluid level dropped. Still leaking on and off. Doctor considered induced labor. Extremely bored. (Baby: 34 weeks + 4 days) | |
| June 15, 2009 | Routine checkup. Will be induced tomorrow. Back pain was killing me, getting worse. Really hope to get it over with as soon as possible. 9 pm plus, I am having a fever. Not good, sign of infection. Can't wait until tomorrow to be induced, had to perform Cesarean immediately!! (Baby: 34 weeks + 5 days) | |
The Moment
They prepared to wheel me to the delivery room. The doctor in charged discussed my situation with her head through the phone. For some reason, she quite reluctant to perform Cesarean on me. Cesarean will be the last resort
She checked me. Then she exclaimed excitedly to the nurses. "She is 5 cm dilated! Yes! No need Cesarean!". Should I didn't have the intense lower back pain, I would have joked with her, "How come you are more excited than me??". By that time, I'm feverish and the back pain intensify. Then it just hits me, what I thought of as back pain from uncomfortable bed was actually sign of labor, back labor. The nurse confirmed my thought by telling me that I having contractions.
They wheeled me to the delivery room. It was 10:02 pm. On the way, I called my hubby. I hooked up on the IV and got a jab on the butt. I don't know what it is. Should be some kind of painkiller and also a gas mask should I need it. I asked hubby to rub my lower back and it really help to lessen the discomfort with each intensify contractions. To cut it short, Iggy entered the world at 1:58 am :). He was whisked to NICU before I even got a chance to take a look at him :(
Epilogue
I was discharged the following day, without Ig. He had to stay at NICU for about a week and 2 more weeks at GH Pediatric Institute. By the time he came home, he was 3 weeks old.
Ignatius @ 1 day old ; Weight @ 1.92 kg ; Length @44 cm
Ignatius @ 10 mths+ ; Weight @ 7 kg+ ; Height @ 68 cm
Looking at Iggy, looking back, I still got a lot of things to be thankful for. Those are the tiny little pieces of life that may looks like nothing at all but added those tiny pieces up, it's really mounted up. Most of all I am thankful that God sent us Ignatius as He promised!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Iggy Tested Out His Pool
Iggy's pool came in the post last week. We got the chance to try it out in the weekend :D
Actually, Iggy didn't got the chance to try it out until the next day. It was getting late in the evening and it really took quite some times to fill up the pool. *Shhh, will let you in on a secret later.
So there they are, Iggy enjoyed the pool very much
There is the secret. Ta da!
Noticed where we placed the pool? In our living room!! That's only place we can place the pool as we live in an apartment .. :p
 Filling up the pool |  I can't wait |  Why took so long... |
Actually, Iggy didn't got the chance to try it out until the next day. It was getting late in the evening and it really took quite some times to fill up the pool. *Shhh, will let you in on a secret later.
So there they are, Iggy enjoyed the pool very much
 |  |  |
There is the secret. Ta da!
Noticed where we placed the pool? In our living room!! That's only place we can place the pool as we live in an apartment .. :p
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Iggy Got A New Toy
This arrived today.. haha
Can't wait for this weekend to try it out... :D
What is it?
Iggy can't wait to open it
Ta ta!
Content of the box
Yup yup. It's a pool!
Iggy can't wait to try it out
Daddy daddy, are you done yet...
Can't wait for this weekend to try it out... :D
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
給小Joseph的信
Thanks for stopping by. For those of you who don't understand Chinese, I'm sorry. It's not my intention to make life difficult for you nor try to be secretive. When I brooding over something, I prefer to write in Mandarin, which is my preferred spoken language, whereas, in fact, I have better command in English in written form than Mandarin.
Originally written on September 26, 2008 4:37 PM
親愛的小Joseph，
你好嗎？
天堂好不好玩啊
有沒有乖啊
要乖哦
不要給耶穌還有天父惹麻煩哦
祂們為爸爸媽媽，叔叔姨姨的事
已經夠煩了
你知道嗎
你靜悄悄的來
又靜悄悄的走了
我還來不及意識到你的存在
卻要被附著失去你的痛
邏輯告訴我
我還不認識你就失去你
那個痛應該沒那麽深
可能罷。。。
但是我想到你的時候
還是忍不住會心痛，傷心，流淚
我問爸爸
我爲什麽那麽傷心
爸爸說
可能這就是作爲一個媽媽的心吧
我想我可能一輩子都忘不了你
但我希望那個痛會隨著時間而淡化
小Joseph，
請原諒媽媽無法把你帶到這世界
我一直很自責是否事情發生是因我的疏忽。。。
你要為爸爸媽媽加油哦！
愛你的媽媽
ps. 爸爸也很愛你哦
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
後記：
離上一篇的經歷已經一年多了
這一年多來，對所發生的我沒有多想
只是偶爾感到傷心可惜心痛
最近又為這事流淚了
其實我不知道我到底爲什麽流淚
可能爲著小Joseph無法來到這世上，感到可惜
可能爲著我和老公失去爲人父母的機會，感到可惜
可能這事所到來的影響比我想象中還大
不過值得安慰的是書上所建議的醫治步驟
在我未意識到是時候老公已經幫我做了
雖讓我們不知道他的性別
但老公得到的感動是男的
所以我們給他取名Joseph
我們也請求耶穌親自帶領Joseph回天家 。。。
Originally written on September 26, 2008 4:37 PM
親愛的小Joseph，
你好嗎？
天堂好不好玩啊
有沒有乖啊
要乖哦
不要給耶穌還有天父惹麻煩哦
祂們為爸爸媽媽，叔叔姨姨的事
已經夠煩了
你知道嗎
你靜悄悄的來
又靜悄悄的走了
我還來不及意識到你的存在
卻要被附著失去你的痛
邏輯告訴我
我還不認識你就失去你
那個痛應該沒那麽深
可能罷。。。
但是我想到你的時候
還是忍不住會心痛，傷心，流淚
我問爸爸
我爲什麽那麽傷心
爸爸說
可能這就是作爲一個媽媽的心吧
我想我可能一輩子都忘不了你
但我希望那個痛會隨著時間而淡化
小Joseph，
請原諒媽媽無法把你帶到這世界
我一直很自責是否事情發生是因我的疏忽。。。
你要為爸爸媽媽加油哦！
愛你的媽媽
ps. 爸爸也很愛你哦
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
後記：
離上一篇的經歷已經一年多了
這一年多來，對所發生的我沒有多想
只是偶爾感到傷心可惜心痛
最近又為這事流淚了
其實我不知道我到底爲什麽流淚
可能爲著小Joseph無法來到這世上，感到可惜
可能爲著我和老公失去爲人父母的機會，感到可惜
可能這事所到來的影響比我想象中還大
不過值得安慰的是書上所建議的醫治步驟
在我未意識到是時候老公已經幫我做了
雖讓我們不知道他的性別
但老公得到的感動是男的
所以我們給他取名Joseph
我們也請求耶穌親自帶領Joseph回天家 。。。
A Belated Thankgiving
Originally written on August 09, 2007 12:43 PM
July 2007 is a special month for me. I encountered the closest a-brush-with-death experience yet...
On the evening of 8th of July, after I finished my work, around 8:30pm, my stomach didn't felt very good. I didn't give it a much thought, thinking it's just some stomachache caused by indigestion. After dinner the stomachache still didn't went away. Hubby wanted to take me to clinic. However, I insisted I'll be ok, there is nothing to worry about. Since the pain was in lower left abdominal area, we ruled out the pain was caused by appendicitis. During the night, I had been waken up by the pain several times.
The next day the stomachache still hadn't lessen. I took an MC leave and let hubby drove me to clinic for check-up. Well, the doctor didn't came out with any contradictory diagnosis. She also suspected the stomachache might caused by indigestion. After obtained the prescribed medicine, I went back home and hubby went to work. I slept for the whole day until hubby came back home from work at around 6pm. During that time, the pain became more severed. I began to had a severe, sharp and sudden pain at the middle of the lower abdominal area. At the beginning, I also had a mild cramping sensation at the right side of my abdominal. Towards the evening, the cramping became more severe until I can't even lay down without cramping. I also fainted during the day. For how long, I have no idea. My guess is, shouldn't be more than a few minutes. When hubby came back and saw my condition, he insisted to drive me to clinic again. This time I didn't protested. While leaving home, once again I fainted. After a few minutes, I regained my conscious and went to the clinic.
At the clinic, after accessed my conditions, the doctor advised us to go to the hospital immediately. Then she proceeded to write a recommendation letter stating that this is an emergency case. She recommended us to go to Gleneagles. However, since Tawakal is closer, hubby planned to take me to Tawakal instead. While getting into the car, a church mate was passed by, therefore, hubby immediately requested for her help to accompany us to hospital. On the way to the hospital, hubby remembered we got a friend working at GH. After gave her a call and asked her advice, she advised us to go to GH and furthermore, her shift would be over soon and she can help out. Thus, we changed our direction to GH.
At the hospital, although we had letter from the doctor, I still had to wait around half an hour for my turn to see the doctor. During that time, I could saw that hubby was very nervous about the whole ordeal. All I did at that time, was tried to relax and braced myself for the next wave of cramping. Finally, it was my turn. After a brief check up, I was wheeled into a lab to had my blood and urine taken for further check up. Luckily, my friend who works at GH was there to help up. I think because of her, my check up had been speeded up considerably.
After the check up, I was diagnosed with ectopic pregnancy. I also had internal bleeding as the area of the ectopic pregnancy ruptured. To stop blood loss, a surgery was required immediately. According to hubby, I was in the operation room for about 4 hours. He waited outside the operation room until around 3am. During the surgery, I was given anesthesia which put me into a deep sleep. I had no recollections about anything happening in the operation room.
The next morning, I had been told by the doctor that final diagnosis of my condition is rupture of left fallopian tube caused by ectopic pregnancy. I also had loss a total of 1.2L of blood. My nurse friend also told us that the operation that I gone through is a major surgery. To spare us the worry, she didn't told us before the surgery.
An afterthought...
Through this ordeal, once again I experienced the grace and love of our Heavenly Father. Moreover, there are a lot of things that I am thankful for His grace and mercy.
I'm thankful that this ordeal didn't occurred any time sooner: Should it happened during my trip to Sipadan, which was a week before, I can't imagine the situation.
I'm thankful that He sent a lot of angels to help us: For the friend who just happened to pass by our car. For friend who works at GH. For doctors and nurses who diagnosed and operated me. For my mother-in-law who endured 4 hours of bus ride, at the moment of notice, just to make sure that I'm ok. For my own parents and relatives, although they can't physically be there, they showed their loves and supports thru constant phone calls. For all the brothers and sisters, Catholics and Protestants alike, who prayed for me or visited me at the hospital or at home. Most of all, for my caring and loving husband, who takes care of all my meals while I recuperate.
I'm thankful that He helped hubby to make a right decision to send me to GH: Should I admitted to any private hospital, its blood bank may not has enough supplies of blood to fulfill my need. Furthermore, we might not be able to afford the medical cost as ectopic pregnancy is not a disease, thus it's not covered by insurance.
I'm thankful that with the help of the Father, I'm able to go through this without fear: Actually, I'm quite amazed at myself. Even in pain, while I still didn't knew what happened to me or in the operation room waiting to be operate, I felt peaceful at all time. I might not knew the outcome, but one thing I knew with certainty, is that I going to be ok. I still remember the only prayer I made was, "Lord, could it be less painful".
I'm thankful that He help me to heal both physically and spiritually: I can't help feeling sad whenever I think of our would-be child, (Catholic believed life begins at the moment of conception). However, I feel better, knowing that our little Joseph is in the hand of our loving Father...
July 2007 is a special month for me. I encountered the closest a-brush-with-death experience yet...
On the evening of 8th of July, after I finished my work, around 8:30pm, my stomach didn't felt very good. I didn't give it a much thought, thinking it's just some stomachache caused by indigestion. After dinner the stomachache still didn't went away. Hubby wanted to take me to clinic. However, I insisted I'll be ok, there is nothing to worry about. Since the pain was in lower left abdominal area, we ruled out the pain was caused by appendicitis. During the night, I had been waken up by the pain several times.
The next day the stomachache still hadn't lessen. I took an MC leave and let hubby drove me to clinic for check-up. Well, the doctor didn't came out with any contradictory diagnosis. She also suspected the stomachache might caused by indigestion. After obtained the prescribed medicine, I went back home and hubby went to work. I slept for the whole day until hubby came back home from work at around 6pm. During that time, the pain became more severed. I began to had a severe, sharp and sudden pain at the middle of the lower abdominal area. At the beginning, I also had a mild cramping sensation at the right side of my abdominal. Towards the evening, the cramping became more severe until I can't even lay down without cramping. I also fainted during the day. For how long, I have no idea. My guess is, shouldn't be more than a few minutes. When hubby came back and saw my condition, he insisted to drive me to clinic again. This time I didn't protested. While leaving home, once again I fainted. After a few minutes, I regained my conscious and went to the clinic.
At the clinic, after accessed my conditions, the doctor advised us to go to the hospital immediately. Then she proceeded to write a recommendation letter stating that this is an emergency case. She recommended us to go to Gleneagles. However, since Tawakal is closer, hubby planned to take me to Tawakal instead. While getting into the car, a church mate was passed by, therefore, hubby immediately requested for her help to accompany us to hospital. On the way to the hospital, hubby remembered we got a friend working at GH. After gave her a call and asked her advice, she advised us to go to GH and furthermore, her shift would be over soon and she can help out. Thus, we changed our direction to GH.
At the hospital, although we had letter from the doctor, I still had to wait around half an hour for my turn to see the doctor. During that time, I could saw that hubby was very nervous about the whole ordeal. All I did at that time, was tried to relax and braced myself for the next wave of cramping. Finally, it was my turn. After a brief check up, I was wheeled into a lab to had my blood and urine taken for further check up. Luckily, my friend who works at GH was there to help up. I think because of her, my check up had been speeded up considerably.
After the check up, I was diagnosed with ectopic pregnancy. I also had internal bleeding as the area of the ectopic pregnancy ruptured. To stop blood loss, a surgery was required immediately. According to hubby, I was in the operation room for about 4 hours. He waited outside the operation room until around 3am. During the surgery, I was given anesthesia which put me into a deep sleep. I had no recollections about anything happening in the operation room.
The next morning, I had been told by the doctor that final diagnosis of my condition is rupture of left fallopian tube caused by ectopic pregnancy. I also had loss a total of 1.2L of blood. My nurse friend also told us that the operation that I gone through is a major surgery. To spare us the worry, she didn't told us before the surgery.
An afterthought...
Through this ordeal, once again I experienced the grace and love of our Heavenly Father. Moreover, there are a lot of things that I am thankful for His grace and mercy.
I'm thankful that this ordeal didn't occurred any time sooner: Should it happened during my trip to Sipadan, which was a week before, I can't imagine the situation.
I'm thankful that He sent a lot of angels to help us: For the friend who just happened to pass by our car. For friend who works at GH. For doctors and nurses who diagnosed and operated me. For my mother-in-law who endured 4 hours of bus ride, at the moment of notice, just to make sure that I'm ok. For my own parents and relatives, although they can't physically be there, they showed their loves and supports thru constant phone calls. For all the brothers and sisters, Catholics and Protestants alike, who prayed for me or visited me at the hospital or at home. Most of all, for my caring and loving husband, who takes care of all my meals while I recuperate.
I'm thankful that He helped hubby to make a right decision to send me to GH: Should I admitted to any private hospital, its blood bank may not has enough supplies of blood to fulfill my need. Furthermore, we might not be able to afford the medical cost as ectopic pregnancy is not a disease, thus it's not covered by insurance.
I'm thankful that with the help of the Father, I'm able to go through this without fear: Actually, I'm quite amazed at myself. Even in pain, while I still didn't knew what happened to me or in the operation room waiting to be operate, I felt peaceful at all time. I might not knew the outcome, but one thing I knew with certainty, is that I going to be ok. I still remember the only prayer I made was, "Lord, could it be less painful".
I'm thankful that He help me to heal both physically and spiritually: I can't help feeling sad whenever I think of our would-be child, (Catholic believed life begins at the moment of conception). However, I feel better, knowing that our little Joseph is in the hand of our loving Father...
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